I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t really know if I am doing fine or just surviving through the day. It has been tough to say the least but words can never express how overwhelming it has been.
It has been a long time since I put that out there
“I am actually overwhelmed”
No matter how much I try to manage my time and force myself to find ways to be more productive and effective.
Yet, I am still exhausted.
“When will this end?”
But then there’s this burning desire to keep going, where I keep telling myself
“This is temporary. This too will pass”
But somehow, it has become so, so easy to be trapped in this lifestyle of constant hustling.
It’s exhilirating at first but then you’d become empty.
When you feel empty, you start to question
“Why do I choose to work this hard?”
“What’s in it for me?”
But it’s not like I am anxious about the future. Not really. I think I am sure that things will be fine.
But there’s something deeper that’s been going on that makes me not as emotional and so much more afraid of opening up, be vulnerable and just allow myself for a while to be sensitive.
Numbness, I think.
“No one would understand”
And so much of this year has taught me so many important lessons about telling your struggle story.
Not everyone needs or deserves to know your struggle story. Sometimes, it’s so much better to quiet down and just put your tired soul wholeheartedly to the One who owns it.
Put your rest, expectations and your soul into the Al Mighty.
This is temporary.
